I just found out that my fifth tour in the Adventures of Auntie-hood will bring only the second girl to a family of nine cousins. My mom and K-dad have nine grandkids total, and the current boy to girl ratio is 8:1. You can imagine the rambunctiousness at family gatherings. My sweet little niece, who is about to turn four, is the absolute epitome of everything the boys are not. She loves shoes, jewelry, ballerina tutus and glitzy hand bags. Not to mention she is as quiet as a mouse. I have to routinely check to see that she's still breathing over in the corner while the boys run circles around her. I think the noise level and aggressiveness just consume and overwhelm her for the most part. I am thrilled that a new little being will be joining her side of the turf. 8:2 is still outnumbered, but hey, it's something. And finally, I can buy cute frilly things on the pink-hued side of the baby universe once more. This new girl will feel the love, that’s for sure.
On a related note, I've been stewing on this whole boy/girl ratio thing for the past few days, ever since my co-worker told me they are adopting a child from a third-world country. As if that's not noble enough, this man is bringing a fourth (yes, 4th) daughter into his life to raise. He and his wife already have three girls of their own - ages 7, 4 and 1. He said he couldn't imagine having anything other than another girl and that they had prayed about this for a long time and simply felt the calling. I was just floored and astounded. This is a man who loves hunting, sports and grew up in a house with all boys. He plays fantasy football and cooks on the grill and is an avid outdoorsman. And yet he feels space – no, make that the need - in his heart for another little girl. Living a life far different from our own, there is a pregnant mother in a pitiful shack or hut right this second who has heard the whisperings of an answered prayer for her unborn child. I had to suppress tears when he told me the news.
After it sank in I thought, how appropriate, really, their choice of another girl. To be honest, I have considered the possibility of someday bringing a fourth child into our home, but it would be several years down the road and only if I thought we could handle the tremendous emotional and financial responsibility. In my conscious thoughts, I have always envisioned a baby girl, because that is what circumstance and genetics did not give us. When I heard the surprising news that I was expecting my third child, everyone assured me it would be a girl, because what would be the odds of having another boy? Well, actually they were pretty good. Turns out if you have two children of the same sex, the percentage of having a third child of the same sex is no longer 50/50 – it’s more like 56/44. Now, that isn’t a huge jump, but obviously it made it less likely we would be buying anything pink.
But this brings me to my next point. Maybe some of us are destined to be parents to just boys or just girls. Maybe what I need to consider, should we ever decide to adopt, is a fourth boy. It’s what I know. It’s what I love. It’s what fate decided I should have. And, to be honest, a girl would have to possess a lot of moxie to survive our rough and tumble household. It may sound cliché, but I am one of the many who believe things happen for a reason. I think there is a greater purpose and calling for most of us; it’s just a matter of figuring out what that is.
My friend discovered his in the eyes of a mother in need, one that conveyed to him the hopes and dreams for a baby who would otherwise be chained to a life of hardship and despair, or possibly even no life at all. And he answered. His answer was the one that no one would have guessed, but it was the one that made the most sense. His choice made it clear that we should appreciate what we’ve already been given. That we should rejoice in the gifts that are right here, right now, and to put to rest any doubts about what we might be missing out on. Their family doesn’t need a baby boy to be complete any more than mine needs a baby girl. I have three amazing, healthy boys with which to share life, and should I feel the calling of a child in need, fate will decide which one speaks to me.
In the meantime, I am going to be one awesome aunt. Patent Mary Janes and pink striped stockings await you, little one.
Erin, this made me tear up... I love that you have 3 boys and love that you write about them here now to let the world know what an awsome ride you are on. I cant imaging my life without your little men anymore than you could. I love all my boys and girl (soon to be another) more than I love myself. I like to think 20 years down the road when some of our little ones will be starting families of their own and how different our lives will be then.. makes me smile everyday --- and for the record she loves all her Aunties already!!
ReplyDeleteLittle boys continue to be a mystery to me! I love 'em to pieces, but they are a whole 'nuther animal, LOL!
ReplyDeleteThe little painted clay Pueblo Storyteller figurine is beginning to resemble me!
People used to get wide-eyed when I revealed I was the mother of four daughters and I would often get exclamations of how trying it must be to raise them.
There were frustrating days, to be sure, but I never understood why anyone would think raising four girls was harder than four boys would be?
I wanted daughters, and daughters I was given times four.
And amazing unique women they are!